"Better to be the fucker than the sucker", that's what I always say.

Okay, I've never said that before, but I'm gonna start now.

Space Lord

Space Lord,
originally uploaded by aciddave.

Our neighbours came over yesterday to show us their new toy. I couldn't believe it, it was like an alien ship just touched down in our front yard. Its engine is bigger than my Mother's car. I didn't know they made bikes this huge - it has a cd changer and an intercom system. Bob couldn't keep his hands off it. He says he can't bring it for a ride until he's shined every inch of it. Next year he's gonna take it on a trip down Route 66. Now that's cool. He let me sit on it. It was the first time I ever wished I had a greasy beard, figure-hugging leather trousers and a pot belly.

Music TV gives me an ulcer

I was watching MTV today. It was Faith Evans’ Top 5 videos. Now I have no idea who Faith Evans is, but I was wondering what she meant when she said that Michael Jackson’s Thriller was one of the “greatest videos of all time.” Think about that sentence for a second. Thriller is one of the greatest videos. Of all time. I’m not against Jacko here, I just wish he had died fifteen years ago, it’s nothing personal but every day that he goes on living is an affront to music fans everywhere, but how can Ms Evans claim that Thriller is arguably the greatest music video ever? Music videos have been around for maybe twenty five years. The greatest video in 25 years. Big deal. Can we try and gain some perspective here people? Who cares? Music videos are just a 3 minute ad for sugar pop songs. Who gives a shit? Is it any surprise that the same people championing the music video are the ones who invented it? MTV have done an amazing job of creating this mythology about the music video. Think of the hysteria when Michael Jackson launched his Black and White video. Think of the madness unleashed every time MTV has one of their many, many awards shows. The Music Video Awards. The Movie awards. European Music Awards. Asian Music Awards. All diverse, all equally vapid, another shallow excuse to parade MTV’s stable of perfectly-groomed, eerily shiny-toothed popstar teenagers.

I would love to finish off this rant but the sun is shining, the barbecue is heating up and my hammock is calling to me.

I can't do epigrams

Writing when you’ve got nothing you want to say is like peeing with the toilet lid down.

[don't] Call Me!

Mobile phones could be the greatest scourge of the modern age. I think they’ll be the death of us all. I was watching Swingers last week. It’s not an old film, but it could be an ancient relic because of the way the characters se their phones. Let me explain: in the film people have one landline and an answering machine. When they go out, they don’t have a phone, they talk to people (talk, not text) and they swap numbers with people they want to see again. Then they go home at the end of the night, say goodbye to their friends, walk into their apartment and check their messages. Then they go to bed. It’s simple, it’s honest and it’s elegant. You don’t waste an evening out wondering why no one is texting you to invite you somewhere else. You leave it all at home and you enjoy yourself with the people around you. A little idealised, but basically true. You make the most of it, instead of texting people who aren’t there.

If you ring someone on a landline, even if the person you’re ringing isn’t there, someone probably is. Chances are, they can even tell you where that person. With a mobile, it’s just one person in charge of their own calls and messages. And frankly, that’s just too much responsibility for one person. The advantage of mobiles is that a person is contactable any time, any place. Sounds like Hell to me, but I’m not really a people person. So in theory, it’s great. You want to go out for a drink, you don’t have to arrange it days or even hours in advance, you just hit speed dial and make it happen right there. It doesn’t always work out like that, most of the time their phone is on silent, it’s in their pocket, they’re walking, they’re in the shower, they’re out of credit, and so on. If you haven’t freaked out at least once when you’ve wanted to contact someone and they haven’t been instantly available, you’re probably dead in the brain.

We invited these gizmos into our lives and like most new technology they fix one problem and create all-new ones. Think back ten years, how did we organise things back then? We talked to someone face to face, at college, work, the pub, whatever, and we said, “Hey, you want to do something next Thursday?” You picked a time, a place and an activity and then you stuck to it. Mobile phones have robbed us of our ability to make plans and stick to them. Now when someone invites us out, we wait until the last minute - in case someone else rings with a better offer - then we go somewhere else and text them to join us.

L'Enfer, c'est les Autres

Saw a play tonight. Existentialist drama is funnier than I would have expected. Who said Sartre couldn't do gags? That letter opener joke is a scream.

I can't believe there's a site for this...

I want to see the dawn tomorrow morning. A site called sunrisesunset.com actually exists. I'm not complaining, though I might be when my alarms goes off at 5am.

Dublin, Ireland
12:13am DSTSun 5/22/2005
Sunrise: 5:17amSunset:
9:24pm

My curiosity will kill me one of these days.

There's a point in every relationship (friend, colleague, etc) where the person will start to tell you an anecdote that you've heard before. It could mark an important time in their life, maybe it makes them feel god [Typo Alert! Actually, I quite like it.], perhaps there's a moral in there somewhere. For whatever reason, their memories have bunched up around this one experience. Regardless of whether you choose to cut them dead or just keep smiling, it marks a definite end point - after this, you're stuck with the same old stories. Friendships are often at their most interesting when you're just getting to know a person and everything they tell you is like a discovery and every story is fresh. Their actions are still unpredictable and hence, in a an unsophisticated manner, exciting. Why do people place so much emphasis on the mileage they've clocked up together anyway? Society tells us that friendships are more important if they've lasted a long time - childhood amigos, friends forever, blood brothers - but what does it really add up to? So what if you've known someone for two decades? It doesn't count for anything. They could erase you from their life tomorrow. If you don't think that's true, tell me this, do you still see all your old school friends?

Spooling through the internet and wasting my last hour in this job, I have only one regret: I wish I'd stolen more stationery.

-So, will you miss the office?
What do you want me to say to that? I only turned up here for 3 months because you dangled a paycheque in front of me and I had nothing better to do. What part of that transaction makes you think that I will utter even one sigh when I leave this place? You're my coworkers, we didn't socialise outside of work, we didn't email, I didn't give you my blog address, I barely talked about myself. Did you look at me during our tea breaks? Did I look like I was enjoying myself? Did you think I was quiet because I was thinking of something to say? I was just wishing I could find a way to read my book instead of listening to you repeat your shallow catalogue of personal reminisces and bitch and complain about how unfair the world is to you. If I had one real regret, it's that writing this makes me realise how completely I surrendered to this job. That is one more thing I won't miss.

Holiday Info

It looks like I'll have to take out a monster loan if I'm going to get a holiday this year. South America, despite what people say, is not cheap. Still have to check with my new employers about holiday time but I'm looking at two weeks off in September to go to Peru. Found a useful article about backpackinghere, as well as advice on Delhi Belly and how to handle it. More stuff on travelling checklists here. Holiday Question and Answers here. Useful site. Lots of vaccinations to look forward to. Stories about malaria medication never get old. Yet more backpacker tips. Government site.