Spooling through the internet and wasting my last hour in this job, I have only one regret: I wish I'd stolen more stationery.

-So, will you miss the office?
What do you want me to say to that? I only turned up here for 3 months because you dangled a paycheque in front of me and I had nothing better to do. What part of that transaction makes you think that I will utter even one sigh when I leave this place? You're my coworkers, we didn't socialise outside of work, we didn't email, I didn't give you my blog address, I barely talked about myself. Did you look at me during our tea breaks? Did I look like I was enjoying myself? Did you think I was quiet because I was thinking of something to say? I was just wishing I could find a way to read my book instead of listening to you repeat your shallow catalogue of personal reminisces and bitch and complain about how unfair the world is to you. If I had one real regret, it's that writing this makes me realise how completely I surrendered to this job. That is one more thing I won't miss.